Poetry - Harder Than You Believe

Harder Than You Believe

It is harder than you believe,

As we continue to grieve,

We look for the light,

We cry through the night,

Trapped and in a spin,

Wondering if we have the fight to win,

The world never stops and either do we,

I just want you to see,

The pain that flows through my veins,

When it rains,

It really showers,

We can turn green the towers,

We fight for others to protect them until our body gives in,

Letter after letter you write still ends up in the bin,

You can't be kind to yourself you see,

You are still angry at the person you can no longer be,

A shadow of yourself yet you still try to glow,

Little do you know,

Half the pain and suffering I will never show,

You just want to be a star with an everlasting glow,

Healing hearts makes my pain worthwhile,

I rarely smile,

The strain too great,

My performance you can rate,

The brave face,

Trying to handle myself with some form of grace,

Trying to live,

For my sins - please forgive,

I did my best,

But now I really do need rest,

You may see me laugh and seem to enjoy,

I rarely feel pure joy,

I try to feel the good life has to offer to soothe me,

But I will never be free,

I don't know what is worst for now,

In front of you all I take a bow,

I don't want to fade away,

I want to be remembered as the girl who still brightened your day,

To simply disappear,

Brings a tear,

I fought hard for what I believe,

That doesn't mean my losses I don't continue to grieve,

A stubborn heart,

Is hard to watch fall apart,

All the while you see,

The pain inside of me,

How I pulled together for you,

Never a no always a yes too,

Now I feel battered and only half of me,

Of the person I used to be,

Hear me here,

I keep the fight near,

Some days I will disappear,

Not far always here,

Emotionally and physically the strain,

Makes us go insane,

I won't lie,

I often cry,

I don't always win,

Yet a new day always does begin,

Some days stronger than others but now you know,

I am feeling lost and slow,

The pain within,

Wants to win.

Sophie

xoxo

#LymeDisease #Chronicdiseases #Chronicillness #poetry