London is calling and we have one manic week ahead. Packing hasn't been easy, with too many decisions about what to wear.
I have a solid eight days of craziness. All good and very exciting but equally so very tiring. My body is just plodding on and I am hoping and praying I can make it through all these events and enjoy them to the maximum. I have waited for this period for so long, long dresses, socialising and inspiring evenings that I just don't want my health to taint these times for me. I know in my heart of hearts once I get there and begin taking on the manic'ness, I will just be able to adapt and work with whatever my body throws at me. Somehow, there is always a way.
I am so very grateful for this opportunity, to have been shortlisted along side the most inspiring people at a major awards ball. Little old Sophie, little old Sophie - where do I begin? I have been passionate about blogging, battling my health, healing hearts and seeking out the positives for so long BUT never in my dreams did I believe I would ever get this opportunity. I feel so blessed and grateful.
There is ALWAYS a battle going on between myself about being lazy, doing too much and pacing. Always a wars, never at peace. It is a balance I find hard to find and accepting how much I do, do is difficult. I never feel worthy of a rest, even when I KNOW I need one.
I often speak openly about how my life didn't go to plan and that I mourn my losses everyday. In a way, I still do. Except now it has helped me focus that drive on a new mission and with that mission comes a new life. A different life, in a totally new direction. My life now is rewarding in many new and different ways compared to my swimming career. Both equally have their up's and down's as with everything.
Like people, like body's, like people's lives you can compare the two because they are both unique and different in their own way. I hope that I am evidence that we can all make the best out of our circumstances. We may need to turn the Sat Nav off, take a new road or do a full 360 but in the end we can always find a mission we are passionate about. We can always add the sparkle back into our lives.
Nobody's plan, ever goes to plan. We can still go through plan A,B, C, and D and still end up in a totally different place. We all get lost, that fine. We all need that time to be encouraged to gain new skills, try something new, meet new people and so forth. This period may pass quickly or it may take some time. We all develop and learn at different paces and that is perfectly fine too. We always feel there is a rush, life is short and we don't want to waste time. We have to keep faith in fate that the jigsaw will all fit into place and paint the bigger picture sooner rather than later.
I have faced many fears this year and I don't regret any of them. They helped me grow and pushed me into learning skills I never saw myself trying. At the time like anyone I would question WHY I had put myself in a situation that scared me. In the end overcoming the fears was FAR more rewarding than running away and turning down opportunities would ever have been.
I have so much more growing and work to do. Knowledge is power and there is always more to learn. I have done so much this year and it's bee an awesome ride, no doubt. I couldn't have done anymore and what I have managed I am proud of. I gave my BEST and that is all I can ever ask of myself.
So whatever happens I have to give myself credit, learn from the mistakes as they are our best teachers and be grateful for the moments, the memories and the people.
The experiences, the opportunities, memories and people have been priceless this year. Although my health hasn't been on top form this year, I have managed to make 2018 one of the brightest, best years of my life. I thank you all for being such a massive part of my journey, this year and your support, love and kindness mean the world to me.
I hope I do you proud tomorrow evening whatever the result and continue to do you proud in the future.
EUROPEAN DIVERSITY AWARDS, here we come!
Sophie.
xoxo