What a manic hurricane the last few weeks and especially last few days have been.
Mama and I have been non-stop sorting things out for my new home.
It still doesn’t feel real.
Three, like today was the number of my previous residence. I loved my home and it was my perfect home. I always wanted a townhouse and I had waited for one on the estate to come up. I put my own stamp on it and it really was cherished so much by me.
Now.. it’s time to leave.
My perfect home is no longer perfect. I have to accept that.
I will be fine once I am settled in but the stress and all the moving around and lifting is zapping me.
Mama and I are doing it all on our own.
It’s super hard.
When it’s all done though we will have really ac’ed it.
My symptoms are getting worse and more frightening..
My joints on the right side of my body are being a pain. I am struggling to grab, unscrew, cut and lift everything. It’s embarrassing and worrying to me. I can’t feel certain things and I really don’t know how to help make them better.
I am always getting bad head pain on my left side - like I have been whacked over the head with a pole. It’s driving me insane.
I passed my nutrition course and have learnt a hell of a lot. I am trying to piece together what the hell is going on with my body and what I need to be doing to help improve it’s condition.
So here is the run down:
Before I was eating 50-60g over of carbohydrates everyday! Carbs are just glucose - glucose which the Lyme feeds off.
So I decreased the carbohydrates and dramatically up’ed my protein.
Protein to aid repair my cells and body.
Now the Lyme bacteria is in shock - where was their food source to thrive off?
Leaving the bacteria to focus on my minerals.
Protein bonds chemically with selenium, iron and manganese which are known as ‘co-factors’ these then equal superoxides. Superoxides are super important to the body. They feed oxygen, amino acids ( proteins ) and glucose to the cells to give them a source of energy & aid repair. They are essential to the immune system. As the use the oxygen for repair & starve pathogens of oxygen to kill the offenders off. Which the Lyme does not want!
Lyme feeds on Manganese.
Manganese is important - it creates collagen when combined with proteins to help repair cell & muscle tissues. It produces enzymes that helps metabolise carbohydrates & proteins. It helps the functioning of the nervous system.
Lyme is the first bacteria not to feed on iron. Iron is essential to the body as it feeds the muscles, cells and organs oxygen so they can repair themselves. Due to them not requiring iron it blocks it’s absorbtion & tells the body not to call on iron, make it seen as a pathogen so the body fights ( flushes it out & doesn’t use it to aid the health of the body.
Iron is essential for the immune system!
Selenium is also an important mineral- Coxsackie feeds on selenium.
I have low T3-T4 levels, which controls the thyroid. It is an essential mineral for metabolism and absorbtion of food. Low levels means this process is not carried out efficiently.
The immune system is so suppressed and under threat that the body calls on extra support & help. This means less important functions & hormones are switched off to conserve energy.
So ultimately the Lyme is now not just taking my energy sources but now trying to stop all the extra protein I am putting in being used to repair the cells they have damaged and made as their homes. Starving my cells & organs of oxygen through blocking them from using the superoxides and instead using the minerals for themselves.
It took a while but I completely changed my diet.
My weight is steadily increasing - although it stayed exactly the same last week due to over eating all the carbohydrates over Christmas. This week I was back to the pots of Alpro yoghurt & high protein sources.
I have tried to keep up my intake of green veggies for iron. Veggies in general are high in all three of the ‘co-factors’
Manganese is found in soy products, leafy greens and sweet potatoes ( maybe why my body has taken such a hit over the years because these are the foods I eat the most. )
Offering the Lyme options of glucose and manganese in bucket loads.
You can not cut manganese out of your diet however this can be deadly and because it aid the function of the nervous system can cause complications in the brain & cognitive functions. They recommend you eat more to keep levels normal as your Lyme only needs a certain amount to stay alive and the excess will be used by your cells.
Selenium is found leafy greens, broccoli, mushrooms, brown rice and beans.
All of the above I have a lot of in my diet.
In hope this helps..
After last weeks weight blip - I upped my digestive enzymes and am really, really trying hard.
Yes I have days where I don’t always hit all of my levels but LifeSum are telling me I am rocking it, with my process and I score 122 out of 150, a score of 100 is a healthy balanced diet, 75 is balanced, 50 is imbalanced & of course 150 is the top score. Yet I don’t think 122 is bad!
But when my blood at my wrist stops and my whole hand turns white, my fingers blue I know deep down my body is yet again in trouble.
Like I said above my symtoms are getting worse and it’s worrying me. We called the doctor and as perusal they wanted to blame it on my weight when explaining it’s worse and my weight has increased ( no thanks to them ) they told me to make an appointment with the doctor. I knew they just wanted to say to me down the phone, ‘eat some pies’ but that’s far from the case and getting people to notice and realise that is so frustrating!
I should be feeling better not worse. I thought I’d finally cracked the code - only to unlock one door and be met with another door, another 5ft taller than the last.
I am sick of the symptoms and trying my best to hide them.
Trying my best to be normal is exhausting in itself.
I spend hours researching, talking to fellow sufferers to try and help myself and in the end all people wanted say to me was eat, put some weight on, move around a bit.
I wish they could feel my pain? Then would they think I was lazy and did nothing.. see how they would cope in my —- nightmare of a situtation.
I am 24 a week today. 24 - for so many years I have been excited with the thought of being. It’s my lucky number and I had so many hopes for the year.
I wanted to be in my prime, flying high and looking on point.
Instead, I have a battered body I fight against everyday, I have a body of a five year old and battle through everyday with no rest bite.
This was not what I dreamed.
I know we can’t all have what we want in life, but coming to the terms with my situation is even harder.
Shopping for accessories to aid the comfort for a body that I live with but doesn’t belong to me.
I don’t know it. As I don’t know myself anymore. It has changed so much.
On turning 24 I feel more like I am turning 84.
And that’s very upsetting to me but a fact I can’t change.
I always try to have faith in fate but right now I feel like fate really has it in for me and I am quite fearful of the furture.
I don’t fear death anymore - I am lucky to wake up everyday! I know that.
I know deep down that I will deal with any level of pain or issues that come up but not knowing what you have or will wake up with is scary.
It’s hard having to try and hide it all. So you don’t upset others.
They see the outer shell.
‘You ate some pies.’ So you must be fine now.
I used to try and correct people now I feel there is no point.
They have made their judgements on the situation already. It’s too complex to get into what really going on.
Mood is low due to the full moon 🌕 ( the devil heightening all my symptoms.
- rashes
- cold sores
- joint pain
-burning feet
- head pain
- loss of taste
- noise & light sensitive
- Fatigue
- insomnia
- crawling
It’s driving me crazy!!
Not the best way to kick start a new year but we can’t have all our dreams granted!
To finish on a positive at least the full moon is not on my birthday week.
So much I wanted to fill you in on.
I may not even make much sense -
My mind in haywire.
Although my blogs have been a little less lately I have been busy as always and trying to get to the bottom of my fight.
I have been filled with so much love and kindness over the festive season and I thank everyone for making it so special.
Reminding me why I fight everyday.
Love always,
S
Xoxo
