The pain in my head,
Hanging on by a thread,
Days are slow,
For them I don’t have much to show,
I work endlessly but don’t get through the list,
Your mind and body in a twist,
Your toes that feel broken,
They aren’t the only thing feeling broken,
Work behind closed doors every day,
Hoping one day it will pay off in some way,
Through my joints you drill,
In waves as I sit still,
Burning from head to toe,
The bacteria like the arrow to my bow,
Having to make friends,
It’s all fairy tales and pretends,
The monsters live inside of me,
They must love me you see,
The perfect home do you envy me?
Don’t - go and be free,
The trap,
Never out of the dangerous gap,
The highs and the lows,
Your frustration grows,
The full moon so beautiful and bright,
It has kept me up all night,
My liver under strain,
Endless pain,
Knowing monsters grow within,
You lie there trying to think of your sin,
The crawling under your skin,
You cry on the outside and within,
The cold season,
Better conditions for reproducing for some reason,
Halloween, Bonfire Night and Christmas are huge stresses,
You focus on the glam dresses,
The worst time of year,
In your pain you live in fear,
On your face always a tear,
As you watch everyone else’s joy and cheer,
Trying to make light of it all,
People watch expecting you to fall,
I have so much hate for my disease,
Though I never wanted life to be a breeze,
The challenge has made me strong,
I have fought for so long,
I pray for the day the sun does shine,
When punishment ends for my crime,
The sun shines from within though you see,
Allow your soul to be free,
You are not to blame,
For this painful game,
Shed the inner pain,
From it - nothing did you ever gain,
The baggage just an extra strain,
Hiding the sun with rain,
Keeping learning,
The inner flame burning,
We can pull through anything,
Or at least I tell myself that I can handle anything,
So wave those sparklers for me,
Through my window - you I can see,
Enjoy for me,
Toast yourself by the fire and be as warm as you can be,
Eat all the toffee apples you can fit in your tummy,
Boy - they look so yummy,
Seeing your joy and happy faces,
In many places,
Helps remind me why I must fight,
Why I can’t put out the light,
Keep a goal and purpose in sight,
For now- I pray for a better night,
The full moon,
It’s light it fills my room,
My body it fills with pain,
For a time I am insane,
The light will come in the end,
I thank you my friend,
I will rest my head,
For me- it is bed.
S
Xoxo