Happiness - happiness the ultimate goal.
We all chase dreams within our careers, family goals and sport yet these goals we ultimately want to lead to the dream of being happy and a life filled with happiness.
Chronically poorly or fully fit we are all striving for the same goal.
So how can we break down this dream step that little closer to it and understand what we may be doing wrong and pushing us further away from the dream.
It has been proven that the happiest people in the world have gone through the toughest life challenges which for me suffering from chronic illness gives me hope. Why and how can this be?
You see famous people who can and do have everything at their fingertips looking like they are living the dream forever in and out of rehab with addictions and rely heavily on thepary for their depression.
They have everything what is not to be happy about, you say.
That is exactly the problem. They have everything, right there. They don't have to go through the journey of earning what they have. They don't get to experience that pride of succeeding and accomplishing the same. All ingredients to overall happiness. I am not saying famous people don't work hard! They do! They have very hectic schedules but they can write a cheque for a 8 bed mansion and not even look at the 000's on the page. Everything is too easily in their grasp that they become greedy and selfish. Leading to problems of addiction and family problems ( affairs ) and so on.
People who work hard, struggle through the most horrendous pain and go through the roughest life storms feel far happier and more content. This is because they have been at rock bottom, they have struggled and really faced pain in the face that they are forced to be grateful for everything. From a cup of tea to the bed they lay in at night. They practise regular gratitude to get them through their pain and hardships. People not going through these storms, may see it as well.. silly that they are banging on about a cup of coffee being amazing. Though this is the key.
Being grateful and practising gratitude teaches you about real happiness. It proves that material objects although lovely don't fill the heart, money can't buy you immunity from chronic diseases and living in a massive empty house but having more rooms won't make you feel less lonely.
You focus on the free gifts of life and all the beautiful things that aren't man made around you. From hugs, time with the family, laughs, experiences, adventures, walks, drinks, lunch, food, movies, kisses, support, friendship. The smaller things we often disregard are the most important and if we sit and think over our life and what we remember most ( the highlights ) you will remember these little beauties more over your material gifts!
There is your answer - to begin focusing on the smaller, unsung treasures which are easier to use and do and bring buckets more of happiness.
You then have to think to the goals and successes in your life that have brought you the most joy and happiness. It will be the successes that focus on your personality, drive, strength, skill, hard work and talent that will come to mind over the pay rises and material objects. Those don't define you. A necklace, bag etc doesn't show your skill and talents. Yes work hard and treat yourself! We all deserve and need to treat ourselves. Though that painting on the wall you painted or the medals that hang high in your cabinet will bring you great pride and joy when looking at them knowing they define you and your skill, talent and hard work.
Focusing more on these successes drives us to what to keep climbing higher and reaching these time of goals. Helping us because happier and grateful. As we focus on what really matters and feel the pride and joy when you keep succeed and climbing higher.
The do's;
- Do, make me time. The time in everyday where you take the time to do what you enjoy! Whether it's watch a movie, carry out a hobby or simply enjoy a bubble bath. This time is very important.
-Do, appreciate family and friends. The time spent with them will never be wasted and will give you memories to cherish forever.
- Do, celebrate and appreciate your successes . Whether they are work, health, relationship , family or career successes they all merit being appreciated and celebrated not just by yourself but by loved ones too.
-Do, treasure moments and memories. Whether it's a girlie movie night or a friends weddings all these moments and memories are ones to be cherished. They gave you laughter and joy and so don't deserve to be forgotten or discounted.
-Do, practise gratitude and in all ways. Try to focus on being grateful for 3 things everyday and you will instantly see how it can help your mood. They don't have to be extreme like landing in Thailand, they can be as simple as a hug from a friend, a mug of mint tea and a phone catch up with a family member. It really proves to you what brings you the most joy as well. So then you can do more of them.
-Do, be kind to yourself. We all need to do more of this. Punishing and constantly blaming ourselves for set backs, blips etc does nothing for our self-esteem, self-worth and happiness. Life, like ourselves isn't perfect and we have to weather the storms in order to learn and gain strength. So then we can soak up the sun when it comes out. You can do this simply by opting to do things for you over what you believe is right to do. So it could be as simple as you were supposed to cook a homemade dinner but you have been invited out. You really want to go and your heart is telling you to but you bought all the ingredients for your homemade dish. Simply freeze the food you can and go with your heart! You won't get back the memories made on a night out but you still have to skills to cook that meal. You would also have sat there eating your meal at home regretting and feeling sad about not doing what you really wanted. Life is too short.
-Do, surround yourself with memories. Remind yourself of what really brings you happiness so you can do more of them.
-Do, follow your heart. Your heart always knows the right path you need to be in for that dose of happiness.
The Don't;
-Don't self pity, yes the cards you have be handed may not be the best or what you needed but we can't always have what we want. We all go through horrible times in our lives that we have to learn, develop from and fight through. Being a moaner gives off negativity in which people really don't want to around.
-Don't let people take your happiness to dose themselves up. Don't let people take advantage of your caring nature and kind heart. You need some love too and have every right to have the love from your own heart before they do.
-Don't surround yourself with toxic people. Whether they family members, life long friends or acquaintances if they are draining you, causing you unhappiness, not supporting you or being negative about you , you must distance or walk away from these people. You don't deserve to be treated badly nor to be made unhappy by anyone.
-Don't practise self blame & punishment. We are all guilty and it's such a hard habit to break. Yes don't go directing blame on to others when you know you are in the wrong. Simply hold your hands up admit your wrong doing and move on. Don't keep re-living what you have done wrong causing you to criticise and punish yourself for often things that you may not have had much control over. It may just have been the wrong weather, bad timing etc. Just take the mistake and see it as a lesson. If you have hurt someone make it up to them through kindness and friendship. There is no need for you to carry the hurt for a long time after.
-Don't force yourself to do things that don't bring you joy. Yes, we all have to do things we hate doing from time to time; chores, exams, work etc but if you have a choice to go on a night out or have a movie night and you really don't want to go out - don't go. Despite if you will get to see 'Polly' you haven't seen in a while, if you aren't in the frame of mind you won't enjoy it. So why do it? Life is too short to waste time feeling uncomfortable, time wasting and not enjoying a situation.
-Don't be Mr Negative. Always try to see the positives in every situtation. Being negative doesn't make people around you happy nor does it make you happy. So why practise it! Be the colour of the sun in someone's day not the rain.
There are many other things you can do to help improve your happiness levels.
Though I believe this is a massively positive start. Strong building blocks to build upon.
Let me know if you have begun using these tips and are feeling better or generally a little more positive.
I often doubt myself that I am not postivie enough despite my upsetting health issues but my friends and family are always giving me great praise on my outlook to the storm I am currently weathering.
Yes, yes, yes I have mannnnnny days of tears and upset but I really do practise all the tips I have shared with you everyday! To improve as a person and also to help me heal and keep fighting.
Heading into the weekend and now fall knocking at our doors, the colder weather is near along with those darker nights. For many of us our moods are naturally affected. So there is no time like the present to start getting into the habit of practising these tips. To help you have an easier winter period.
So let's start.
Let me know what you get on!
Love and peace
S
Xoxo
