The city known for its beauty and charm did not let us down.
Like my absolute love for Washington D.C due to the city's bright white beautiful buildings that the sun bounces off and the beautiful parks, gardens and sights to wander around is what I truly love. Paris is full of charm, the buildings are so detailed and have so much character. Truly beautiful.
Luckily we had Jacob. He is the ultimate travel partner and tour guide. He knew all the little travellers secrets, in how to get in with discounts, free of charge, where to go and where not to go. Understanding and being flexible around my limitations which I am truly grateful for.
I think Jacob also learnt the difficulties and sadness that this disease causes me. How so bloody hard it is to deal with. Not just for me. That support means the absolute world to me because often the people you hope you can rely on turn out to be the ones who fail to understand and be supportive. Whilst some people can really feel the pain and upset this situtation brings and help in anyway they can. For that I am truly grateful.
Jacob got the first glimpse on our first evening. We dined up the Eiffel Tower. This was my 18th birthday present gift from my parents. After falling in love with Paris when I was 17 on a day trip, I vowed I would return. Yes, it took 6 years to return and Mama and Papa kindly bought me two tickets. It was so much better having the two of them there alongside myself and Jacob. It wouldn't have been the same without them.
I was super excited for this experience and although I can still appreciate the amazing views, company and evening. My experience was tainted by the fact we had such an issue in regards to my meal. Even though we had emailed, told them in advance, brought translations to help and reminded them on arrival. They tried to fob me off with a wheat based main, along with veggies that were cooked in oil and butters. They argued it was NOT cooked in oil then finally accepting they were wrong ( after sending the dish back 3 times ) that they had been cooked in olive oil. They also wouldn't boil my rice I had brought them to help. Though after them messing up my veggies they came ( not politely ) and asked for the rice to cook. Of course I was thankful to them for cooking my rice. But I was embarrassed, other tables were looking, everyone else had eaten their meals and waiting on me and I looked like I was a fussy diva but I can't afford to be ill. It does make me crazy anxious when they don't listen, argue, fob me off or make excuses. Yes I won't drop dead, but that's not the point. I do suffer. As the customer surely they want me to have a faboulous experience and return. Not be sick, ill, embarrassed & upset?
It isn't like I am asking for confusing, complex dishes. All they need is water, rice, veggies - 10 minutes cooking time ( boom done ). Not like a lamb dish that takes hours to cook and marinate. So why is it so hard and such an issue?
At this point I think Jacob realised the affects this kind of service and event can cause me.
He also had to experience my morning routine of getting up an hour before meeting time to ensure I get up in time, have got myself dressed, had a bath ( a shower is never a good idea at that time), taken all my med's and had my tea. Plus a rest before we kick off and begin the day. Along with panic attacks of pain being elevated, dealing with heat, cold, movement and so on.
I could not of taken on Paris without the wheelchair and realising how hard I found the hop on hop off bus 🚌 made me realise why I can't hack the train. Which is upsetting to me. I love travelling and love exploring it causes me great sadness that burns within my soul to struggle with travel. Because out of all my hobbies travelling is my number one. Though I appreciate that travelling has not really only because a great faff, issue and hard work for me but it's hard for all my travelling crew. Which upsets me a lot.
However - with all the struggles and the upset of being in the condition I am in. We all collectively tried to find light and postivity out of everything. To make the trip memorable in the best way possible.
We were successful in this task.
We explored, we experienced amazing sights, galleries, foods and dining experiences. We joked, we had funny pictures drawn, laughed, took risks. And yes I always try to be positive. But the fact that my party can understand and know what can create positivity for me and what I need to make lovely memories means the absolute world.
My Mama knows me too well. She can see when I am struggling, when I am holding on for dear life, when I need a cheer up. Just being around their supportive vibes helps my anxiety melt away. I know they will support me in the case of ordering food in restaurants and they will ensure I rest but enjoy faboulous experiences. Which I am truly grateful for.
I couldn't face the airport issues - of standing, waiting, queues, walking to the gates, up and down. My right side was killing. The taxi drive to the airport was hard enough. I felt sick because I was trying to cope with the numb, burning pain. Luckily Jacob had entertaining stories and Mama's to keep the ride bareable and something for me to listen to but have a rest from talking. I was treated extremely well by airport staff and I am grateful for that.
They lifted me on and off the plane. Although to me this was so embarrassing and heart breaking that this was the case I found myself in. However I was so exhausted I was beyond caring about judgements. We had completed the trip with a funny flight. Jacob panicking lead to a nut, chocolate 🍫 and gin and tonic binge. It worked and calmed Jacob. So if anyone needs to calm themselves - gin and tonic's , cashews, and Nak'd Post Bits and funny chat are all you need.
Although I got into the taxi nearly in tears with Jacob. Despite all the pain, embarrassment and sadness knowing the struggle I was happy and so thankful for the memories. Unlike Cuba coming away from there feeling like I missed out on somethings I came away from Paris with a different mindset.
The mindset that I did it! I am doing the impossible. It's not in my blood to be normal and settle. I am a fighter - I am still living. Reflecting and showing gratitude helped me realise my achievements and enjoying every little thing.
Which is SO important to keep you up beat and positive.
My top 3 fave things about this trip;
Standing on the top of the Arc De Triomphe watching the world go by, amazing views and people live.
The Moulin Rouge - having a booth, being treated with gifts and champers. Watching talented dancers.
Dinner up the Eiffel Tower. My birthday pressie. It was amazing to be dining in such a historic landmark, amazing company and again be able to watch the world live! See the amazing views. Truly amazing.
And so many more funny experiences;
The rooftop bar,
Caught up in attacks,
Mama drunk,
Uber rides,
River cruise,
Jokes,
Music,
Art.
Just a truly special place. With so many amazing memories to cherish with the best people.
I will be returning.
The moral here is to enjoy and appreciate every moment because situtations can suddenly change at anytime. We aren't in control but we can control how we deal with situtations. Practising showing gratitude and being grateful has really taught me how precious memories, moments and people are. I feel guilty for the 23 years that I really did take many things for granted and didn't fully appreciate them. I will never be so narrow minded and ignorant to life again.
Always take positives out of everything. This disease and journey I am on is my pure hell. Though through the pain, it is leading me to unlock many doors and teaching me so many lessons to make me a stronger and better person. I just need to keep fighting.
Thank you Jacob, Mama and Papa for an amazing trip full of funny memories.
Funny is how I would describe the trip- so many laughs. Happiness through the sadness.
So much love.
Now on to Breakspear - the next chapter of the journey.
I will try and blog all I can, so follow the journey.
Thank you for reading and the love and support.
Big hugs!
Love and peace more than ever,
S
xoxo
