My brain fog.
Brain fog is no fun.
Symptoms;
-lack of motivation
-excessive fatigue
-dizziness
-blurred vision
-lack of concentration
-memory loss
-indecisive
-frustrated & irritated
-clouded thoughts
Symptoms mimic many chronic illnesses due to it being a symptom of excessive body inflammation. It is a symptom of diseases such as;
-Lyme
-auto immune disease
-fibromyalgia
-chronic fatigue syndrome
To name just a few.
It makes your day 100x times harder because you have have to work 10x harder to carry out your day as you wish.
Socialising, jobs and general life becomes such a draining and massive task. Leaving you more exhausted than the 15 minutes before you took part in the task.
I know once I have spoken a lot for a while I suddenly zone out and shut off. Not because I am bored. I am just excessively exhausted and can no longer focus on the conversation or think of things to say.
Sometimes I often begin to ramble, asking anything that is left in my head.
That's the fun of brain fog.
Now I try to explain before an event that I may suddenly reach a point and I feel I am becoming more aware of my limitations and open to others about them. Rather than carrying on, I now set myself boundaries or leave the event before reaching the point of no return and symptoms getting worse. This can sometimes mean agreeing to an event but setting a time limit. So agreeing to attend for 4 hours and telling people you are going with this plan so they understand and know, and when this time comes around can remind you. This also means that you feel more chilled and less guilty about cutting the event short or leaving earlier. You attended! That in itself is a massive achievement.
Or
I can feel myself shutting down and I excuse myself and leave. Again not because I am bored, but I want people to know, remember and enjoy the real Sophie. Not the zoned out, zombie. Anyone would want that for themselves. So leave before your inner self checks out.
These habits were hard for me to adapt to. As I always wanted to be the life and soul of the party and also make the most of the time I have with people I am around. We all have crazy, busy lives and we often go weeks and months without catching up and spending time together. So we must cherish these times. This fact left me feeling guilty for cutting nights short in the past. However now my brain fog gets too bad and intense that I know it's the right thing to do and I know I cannot hack it anymore. And working on getting 'me' back, feeling everyday less of myself I don't want people losing & forgetting the real me!!! Which pushes me to accept and leave. One of my biggest fears.
Luckily I am surrounded by people who see deeper, and know my soul, personality and intelligence.
They understand despite the tears, pain, slow moving, brain fog, less active etc that doesn't define me, they are just hurdles I tackle through.
They know I still hold my kind heart, can keep them on their toes, make them laugh, share good memories & conversations with them. That means the world to me and I am truly grateful for that.
They are so supportive and despite me being worried that I am not doing enough, feeling bad about doing half days, leaving events early, having to pace, unable to walk lots. They always boost me up and remind me how well I am doing! There support and words being exactly what I need to hear.
You need people like that, when going through hellish times like these.
Truly, truly grateful.
**
Brain fog is scary.
Waking up this morning, I have no idea 💡 where I was, what month it was, what day it was. I knew I had something planned this morning but I couldn't for the life of me remember what. You walk around not really there. Just acting like you know what you are doing. Every easy task becoming a massively long process. The day seems fully packed because everything takes so long.
Yet , your brain is still sharp, you can still be fast, you can still create gripping conversation and hold your own. That's the main thing to remember.
The fog you feel is a symptom - not you.
Who suffers badly with brain fog? Have your symptoms got worse over time?
How do you deal with your brain fog?
The moral of all this - is to be open about your symptoms and let others know. So you have their understand and support. Often they can help you come up with a plan too! Which when you feel dazed is a blessing and a massive help!
We keep fighting on, doing the best we can.
Love and peace
S
Xoxo