'Act like it's impossible to fail, and it will be impossible.'
The final day.
Waking up after a rough night, attempting to sleep on the floor outside the bathroom incase I was sick 😷, not sleeping due my my pain levels and stomach aches. To then wake up with a fever that left me feeling washed out for the final day.
Though like always I was well taken care of as soon as walking in the door at 9am this morning. I had my hot water bottle, ice pack to cool me, a sick bowl, and a pain relief drink over tablets due to my high pain & sickness levels. I was hooked up within 10 minutes, meaning an early finish. The sun was shining and the troops were on route. So despite feeling rough. I couldn't wait for them to arrive.
Finishing early and the sun was out - there was only ONE thing for it. A drink in the sun. I didn't really feel up for it but I was determined to see everyone soaking up the British summer, sun and listen to the family's funny weekly stories.
It's so beautiful to see people being merry, playing, enjoying laughter, conversation, delicious foods, friends, family, pets and well - life. It really does warm my art! It reminds me I am still here too. I can still enjoy the surroundings and the beauty of life. Motivating myself and inspiring me. Keeping that inner flame burning.
And there is nothing better than having the famclan here all for support.
To end a hard, hard week with some fun, laughter, love and joy. That's the way to finish. I am grateful for the boys making the effort to travel down! I am grateful to them for making the 4 hour car journey, to see me, give me a more comfortable ride tomorrow & waking up 7.30am on their Saturday to get here as soon as possible.
It's the end of the week, it is not the end of the journey - only the start.
If this week has taught me anything is that in the right care I can feel safe, I can stop fighting a hundred battles on my own and trying to juggle everything. I would blame myself for not being on top of everything . Though not even superwoman can juggle everything. They all have back up and help.
You have to pick your help wisely. However with the right help the stress relief is just unbelievable. I have to learn it's not a weakness, it's a strength.
That is what I have learnt in the last few days. I am not alone, I don't and can't always be on it and strong. Everyone has their blips and rough times. We are allowed to take rest bite, reach out to others and source the help necessary.
The goal is to live each day as best as you can, ensuring you can enjoy as many pleasures as you can, learning all you can and healing in the best ways possible. Not allow the illness to stress you out, take away more of your quality of life, cause upset and extra pain. It already causes enough pain! So keep positive and take all the pleasures you can to keep going.
I would like the thank all of the wonderful Breakspear staff for their hard work, kindness and happy / positive vibes this week. They have made this week so much more better!
All their help, concern, kindness and understanding has helped me in so many ways.
Recovery from this disease is long and far from straight forward but I know I am in the best hands! And that makes the whole journey feel less daunting and nerve racking. Taking a heap of stress off myself and family.
Thank you.
Thank you all for your kind, loving, support and inspiring comments this week. They mean the world - they have kept me going and made my day. 💕 sending you all a big hug and lots of love.
Thank you to my hero of a Mother that has experienced the emotions, the pains, the struggles, the tears along with the joys this week. It's been quite then rollercoaster !!! Couldn't have done it without her!!!
Any questions or any thoughts, please reach out! Share your story.
I am sure it will be a funny car journey home tomorrow & we are now going to really enjoy some yummy Indian grub.
Love and peace -
ALWAYS
S
xoxo
